Why is it so difficult to talk about sex?
The adult talk?
Talking about sex can be complicated for many, but have you ever stopped to think about the consequences of not doing it and not being able to express your doubts?
Sex is an important aspect in people’s lives. We are surrounded by elements that constantly remind us: advertisements, music, series, movies, magazines … However, contrary to what might be expected, talking about sex is still very complicated for most of us.
Despite all the social advances that have occurred in recent decades, sex has a certain air of taboo. Whether it’s with our partners, friends, or family, opening up to other people and talking about this can make us feel very uncomfortable .
The simplest explanation for this is that, many times, when we talk about sex, we are sharing very intimate aspects of our being , elements that are still censored or uncomfortable for society. And this, logically, generates reluctance.
Reasons why it is difficult for us to talk about sex
Below we examine the main reasons why communicating with others about this topic is so difficult.
The goal is to be able to talk more openly about sex, when you really want to . Some of these reasons are:
1- Fear of being different
For many people, the main reason it is difficult to talk about sex is because they hold certain irrational ideas about it. The most common is that they believe that if they express what they think about the subject, others will judge or reject them.
This idea stems from the myth that there is only one right way to enjoy sexuality; Due to certain social pressures, we think that we have to have sex in a specific socially imposed way.
Most of us have felt at times that we are different from others in some sexual matters. Although some people carry out less common practices, no act that involves consensual sex between two adults has to be negative on the basis .
Therefore, the first thing we must do to talk about sex comfortably is to accept what makes us different; generally, if we are able to open up, we will feel more liberated and satisfied thanks to being able to express our thoughts and feelings.
2- Fear of rejection
This problem is one of the ones that most prevents us from talking about sex with our partner : having relationships with another person can make us feel very vulnerable. In general, we are especially concerned about being rejected when we find ourselves in a sexual situation .
This fear can cause us not to express in front of our partner what we like or want to do. And the problem with acting like this is obvious: if we don’t tell the other what we want, it is practically impossible for us to end up satisfied with the sexual relationship.
For this reason, if we want to fully enjoy sex, we will have to learn to open ourselves to the person with whom we are going to have the encounter and to be sincere about our tastes, preferences and expectations.
On the other hand, the level of vulnerability that the sexual situation brings with it can be very uncomfortable for some people. In this regard, as practical advice, you can advance little by little in the process that finally leads to sexual contact .
For example, you can start by expressing a desire that has not yet been discussed with the partner, but that does not give much hesitation to share. Thus, if a positive reaction is perceived, the confidence necessary to express ourselves more and more will be cultivated .
In this sense, talking about sex with the other person can serve as a way to generate more trust between the members of the couple, so that this openness to the sexual issue would fulfill a double function.
3- Believe that it should not be necessary to talk about the subject
Finally, some people find talking about sex unnecessary. This irrational belief leads us to think that all of us should innately know what our partner likes and, therefore, we fear that asking may be considered as an indication that we have not been up to the task .
This way of thinking is as harmful as it is false. The reality is that sexual pleasure is very complex and that each person is different. It is impossible to know in advance what makes each individual enjoy .
Therefore, communicating with our partner is essential to fully enjoy our encounters. Only in this way can you come to know what the other person wants and expects. This, of course, should be a mutual effort : neither can we fully know the other person’s tastes without asking, nor should they have to guess ours.
In this sense, until you are able to talk openly about sex with your partner , it will be very difficult for the two of you to feel completely at ease on a sexual level, since each one will maintain an erroneous belief about the other that will lead them to act unfairly .
An article published on Infoclerky give a guidelines on how to talk about sex. Very important points in that article that would get ride of your fear of being open about sex as a subject matter
Now that you know the negative of not being able to express yourself freely and not share your sexual doubts and concerns, we encourage you to get rid of your complexes and be able to share with others what you feel and think about sex.
